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A Time to Grieve - A Time to Grow: The Healing Wisdom of AfricaWritten by Dr. Malidoma Some' Water is a key element in the cosmological wheel, that in the beginning cooled the raging fires and brought stability, reorienting the cosmic energy towards producing continuity and community. Since then, people all over the world have felt the need to return again to water for purification, cleansing reconciling and making peace in the face of the onslaught of life’s challenges.  This means that to the indigenous, challenge or crisis is cosmologically and spiritually symptomatic of a rise in fire. When someone is in crisis regarding the nature of the crisis, that person is said to be returning to the fire. The distress of the person drifting towards or into the fire is a plea for radically reconciling introduction of water. When there is no water around, we are vulnerable to crisis. People, especially people in crisis are naturally attracted to water. Many recognize that when they are agitated about something in their lives, they find peace at the waterfront. Just the sight of a large body of water brings a feeling of peace and calm, a feeling of home. Water resets a system gone dry in which motion is accelerated beyond what we can bear. Africian healing wisdom looks at physical illness as a fire moving person’s energy beyond the limit of what he or she can bear. This suggests that we all need water and need rituals of water to sty balanced, oriented and reconciled.There are countless aspects of human experience that water rituals affect in a healing way. One of them, perhaps the most important, is the emotional self. Many people in the Western world walk around like time bombs, loaded with contradictory emotions that are often so hard to articulate that the individual is dangerous to himself and surroundings. Perhaps among these emotions is grief. In this culture the challenge of confronting overwhelming grief must be considered the most crucial task in reconciling energy of water. In indigenous Africa, one cannot conceive of a community that does not grieve. In my village, people cry every day. Until grief is restored in the West as the starting place where modern man and women might find peace, the culture will continue to abuse and ignore the power of water, and in turn will be fascinated with fire. Grief must be approached as a release of the tension created by separation and disconnection from someone or something that matters. The average Western person is grieving about being isolated. Western men in particular are grieving about the dead because they didn’t grieve properly and they were told men don’t cry. In my work, I hear this everywhere. Grief is not only an expression in tears, but in anger rage, frustration and sadness. An angry person is a person on the road to tears, the softer version of grief. Sadness and the felling of heaviness within are symptomatic of a deep well of grief in the psyche underground. One must ask why tears the softest expression of grief, are not as acceptable in the modern world as anger and rage. I say this because to indigenous Africans emotions are sacred. To villagers it looks as if the West is uncomfortable with tears because one cannot argue verbally, logically against this kind of emotion. Villagers also believe that the westerners are afraid of emotion because they are afraid to lose control. Emotions have tendencies to spread from person to person and therefore social control in the Western mind is being risked with any display of emotion. Many Westerners are beginning to see that there is also danger in remaining stuck with rage, anger and sadness; they are the directionless vehicles of a grief that remains hidden. When these emotions are not allowed a fluid catharsis, one is left in a state of incompleteness. The end of the domination of one’s life by such emotions requires an outpouring of liquid. You cannot truly grieve within and remain composed without. Emotion is an extraverted phenomenon and it cannot find its much needed release if expressed only internally. Denied an outward expression, grief grows stronger and organizes its self like a hurricane that can rise up and sweep us away. I have heard many times people express their fear of grief because they feel that if they begin to release it, they will be overcome, eventually drowning in their own tears. Indeed, this is how it feels, but this is not what actually happens. In my village, emotion is ritualized because it is seen as a sacred thing. If addressed with a sacred space, emotions of grief can provide powerful relief and healing. Any time the feeling of loss arises, there is an energy that demands ritual in order to allow reconciliation and the return of peace. These are crisis that water ritual can resolve. Water ritual helps to shed the massive accumulation of negative emotions due to loss, failure and powerlessness. Each one of these problems heightens our awareness of the challenges of life. Loss and powerlessness are particularly humbling because they disrupt continuity and reveal our humanity. One of the things all humans have in common is loss, be it loss of loved ones or loss of dreams, be it loss of a job or a relationship. In all of these situations, water rituals are necessary.  Dr. Malidoma Somé is one of today’s most eloquent champions of indigenous wisdom. His life and teaching form a bridge between the traditional ways of his people, the Dagara of West Africa – among whom he is an initiated elder – and the modern world.. He is the author of several internationally acclaimed books including Ritual: Power, Healing and Community, Of Water and The Spirit, and The Healing Wisdom of Africa. Join Dr. Malidoma Some’ at Blue Deer Center Margaretville, NY (845) 586-3225 September 25-27, 2009. For more information about Dr. Malidoma Some’ visit: www.bluedeer.org call 845-586-3225 |